Not quite a legend.

There are days when I wake up and everything is as they should be: I've had enough sleep, I am raring to tackle my "To Do" list for the day, I have enough time to fix a cuppa, talk to hubby, wash my face and gasp, put some makeup on -- before the kids wake up.

I had one of those days today. By mid morning I had survived the school rush without incident, done 2 loads of laundry and the baby was sleeping. Which led me thinking, "I must have done something good to deserve this harmony in the household...about time too! Happy snaps for me! Legend!"

This was my internal commentary for the "Chris is Awsome" morning parade until...

I found one of my son Xavier's artworks lying on the floor where he usually rests his school bag. It is a green piece of cardex with a photocopied photo of him, with a speech bubble on the opposite side. On top of the page was a Chinese horoscope bit that was pasted on -- "Year of the SNAKE: Charming and good thinkers. Love the finer things in life, so only the best is good enough. Good at making and saving money. Patient, charming and wise. Prefer not to rely on other people." (Guess they were doing something very multicultural that day like Chinese horoscopes for Chinese New Year.)

I have never been one to believe in horoscopes, so I will focus on what Xavier wrote on the speech bubble instead.

"In 2009, I am going to improve in school. I am also going to work on my soccer. When I am not busy I will try to help my parents and try to be a better friend to D-----. By Xavier."

What struck me most about what he wrote was that he was going to be a better friend to D-----. Why? Well, let me give you the background: X and D have been classmates ever since they were in Pre-Primary. While they always seem to gravitate towards each other during playtime, X often complains that D pushes him during recess, hits him at excursions or laughs at him. There have been a few incidents where I was called to the school because X had been injured or had been a good Samaritan because D lost his temper and hit somebody. There were always apologies afterwards and promises that things will not get this ugly again.

As a side note, John and I have never been advocates of hitting back. What we teach X is to block and stay away from danger. While we acknowledge that our son can provoke some of these fights and arguments, our hearts ache when we see that in most cases, he is the one who gets badly hurt.

I personally cannot get my head around why X remains friends with D -- a boy who puts him down and physically hurts him.

So just like many times before, I asked X why he still chooses to play with D. I expected an answer around the lines of "Because he is fun to play with/He likes Bakugan/StarWars/Pokemon".

Instead X answers, "If I am not his friend, no one else will be his friend."

STUNNED. What? What? WHAT?

X: "No one else wants to play with him. He scares them. I'm not scared of him and we have fun. I think he gets mad a lot because he just doesn't know how to be a friend to other people. When I am with him, other kids play with us because they know he listens to me. If I become a better friend to him, maybe he will be nicer to other people."

Tears well in my eyes. While X didn't make sense to my ideas on justice, he sure made up for it in sentiment. It's not all about us... it's about others. It's not about how good we are... it is what we can do for others. It is not about praising our own achievements, it is about being grateful for the privilege.

The horoscope that was on the same cardex detailed what type of person my son would be. But these traits that these horoscopes have pre-determined for my son do not take into consideration the values passed down from family which lead to traits like compassion, a desire to serve and the yearning for something more than this world.

I am pretty sure that Xavier has limited understanding of compassion and service. Surely though, he must know something to willingly be around such a risky environment where he can easily be beaten up and ridiculed. I have been given a big lesson in that today which I hope to pass on through example. Not an easy task given how imperfect I am, but a lesson without application is worth zilch.

Ooops. Wasn't I just applauding my own "legendary" status? Halt the parade...